Life in the Time of Corona

Clay received this game as a Christmas present. Remarkably prescient. 

I haven't written here in a while because, honestly, I'm not sure what to say. Within a week of our return from Mexico, the WHO declared coronavirus to be a global pandemic. It's surreal to think of how much has changed since then.

I cancelled all upcoming travel - business trips to Texas and California, and a personal trip in May to Greece. March 12 was my last day of working in the office, and I've been telecommuting since then. In addition, for the past two months, I've limited errands to only the essentials. (I wear a mask for those trips.) The only moving about I've done is in outdoor environments (trails and parks), while adhering to social distancing.

The world has hit the pause button. Everyone is waiting. There is much to mourn - lost lives, lost celebrations, lost physical connection. When I think of all the personal milestones and cultural events that have been delayed or cancelled, it boggles the mind. There's a lot that we've lost, that we are losing.

Like most people, I've been trying to keep busy during lockdown (and I'll post later about some of my pursuits). I've been lucky enough to be able to continue working during the past two months, so I've still been able to pay my bills, support my family and maintain a semblance of professional normalcy. I'm incredibly grateful for this, as I know others are in dire financial straits. (I won't be sad when the end of the school year gets here, though. It's been VERY interesting checking Canvas and Zoom and PowerSchool and Farfegnugen and then hollering at my kid about what he's supposed to be doing while I work a full-time job from lockdown.)

Working from home is something I'm used to, as I've done it before. What hasn't felt normal to me is the self-isolation on evenings, weekends, at meal times, etc. (When I worked from home before, I'd make it a point to schedule business lunches and face-to-face meetings so I could get out a bit and connect with others. Plus, I'd be out socially in the evenings and on the weekends. So it's definitely been a shift from typical work-from-home conditions.)

My husband works at a hospital, and it's felt a little harrowing some days to send him out the door. He has a different routine when he comes home now (shoes/belt stay in the car, clothes go straight into the washer, then a shower, and THEN I can give him a welcome home kiss), and I've been doing my best to take good care of him so he can do his job well.

I'm a very social person, so I've had to get creative about how to feel connected to family, friends and colleagues during this very weird time. WebEx with video and Zoom cocktail hours are a thing. And I've participated in some small, outdoor, bring-your-own-chair, 6-feet-apart meet-ups with friends and co-workers. All of those things have really helped.

Probably like many, this landscape has sent me searching for what we can gain or learn, as it can't be all about loss. I hope we're all learning (trying to learn?) about ourselves, each other and our society in the midst of this crisis. It's testing our mettle in a dizzying variety of ways and spurring conversations about who we are and what we're made of.

The uncertainty of the virus and its behavior has stymied a public accustomed to answers and a market averse to risk. There's just so much about this illness that we don't know yet, things that may take us a long time to figure out. In the meantime, social distancing is the only (blunt-force) tool we have that seems to work. But indefinite lockdown is not something I think American people will tolerate, not because they don't value safety, but because they can't afford it. For many, it's not sustainable economically, and we don't have a robust social safety net to support it.

It's been interesting to watch how different countries and cultures have responded to the crisis. In America, I believe our response has been heavily marked by our identity. Here, the individual is the hero. You pull yourself up by your bootstraps; you are self-reliant; with hard work, you can improve your lot in life and make something of yourself. That posture has translated into our social response to this event. You can't shake who you are, at your core, and this pandemic has emphasized that truth to me. ("Adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it.")

For many, the world has gotten smaller. We aren't traveling. We aren't moving about freely. We are spending much more time in our homes, which has made us stop and notice them more, stop and really look. I take an hour-long walk almost every day. Over the past two months, I've watched the daffodils bloom. Then the azaleas and the iris. The roses and lilies. After that, the jasmine, and now the gardenias, both of which make the back yard smell like a perfume shop. I've cut flowers from my garden and mode bouquets for the house.

I've cooked recipes I always wanted to try and learned to make cocktails. (BTW, cocktails are much easier to make than I thought. When this is over, I'm going to be MUCH harder on my bartenders.  Heh.) I've printed off sheet music for songs I like and have learned to play them on the piano. I call friends and family more. I write more letters and send more cards. I took a nap last weekend. (I can't remember the last time I'd taken a nap.) I've binged a couple of television shows and read some of the books that were on my list. I've been working out at home with my weights and my mat. (Staying physically active has done wonders for my mood and has helped me keep my weight in check in the midst of all this recipe-making and cocktail-drinking!)

I'm so blessed that I not only love my husband, but also *like* him. I can't imagine experiencing lockdown with someone I didn't like.  

So, all in all, I have much to be grateful for. Do I worry a bit? Do I get stir crazy sometimes? Of course. But I also realize how lucky I am.

What we are all going through now will have profound, lasting impacts on us, on our governments, and on our society. We will tell stories about this time to our grandchildren one day. And I want to be able to tell my grandchildren that I did what I could to protect my countrymen and my nation, that I made good use of the time I had, that I moved through this time with as much intention as I could.

So between now and when all of this is over (whenever that might be), I'm going to try and make the next right decision, then just rinse and repeat. I'm hopeful and prayerful that enough of my fellow Americans do the same, so that we can all get through this together.

"They also serve who only stand and wait." - John Milton

Stay safe and healthy, friends. 💕💕💕