My little miracle

Warning - this is going to be indulgent. And it's going to be about the baby.

Little man has his second tooth now. He's cruising around on the furniture, standing with just one hand on something to steady himself. It won't be long before he's standing, and then (eeeek!) walking! He will be a year old in less than three months.

Before I had a child, I'd hear parents say all the time, "The time goes by so fast. They grow so quickly." And I'd nod my head sagely, as if I had any idea what they were talking about. Since booger was born a little more than nine months ago, I've come to understand what they were trying to tell me.

I keep thinking back to when Clay was first born. He couldn't roll over. He couldn't regulate his own body temperature. It was a chore to cajole him into nursing. Shoot, he couldn't even pass a big fart without getting all worked up about it.

Now, the kid is nearly walking. He's babbling. He's crawling all over the place, moving his little person around, standing up, putting food in his own mouth. We play a game where I touch his eyes, nose, and mouth, and when I do, I call them by name. (Then, I always give him a big smooch. He loves that!) Today, when I said, "Eyes, nose, mouth," the kid POINTED to my eyes, nose, and mouth! I mean, jiminy! He's turning into his own little dude, isn't he?

Sometimes I'll see him standing up, or peeking out the window, and it almost breaks my heart. In the beginning, he needed me for everything. And, yes, it was a huge chore. But now, now that he doesn't need me as much anymore, it's a little bit sad, you know? A relief, but also a little sad.

Right now, I'm just trying to live in each and every moment and not wish anything away. Not to think to myself, "Boy, it sure will be easier to take care of this kid once he's walking/eating with a spoon/dressing himself." Not to wait impatiently for the time when he won't be on a bottle anymore or when he'll be potty trained or when all his teeth are in.

Right now, I want to hold on to each thing as it comes. How he calls for me when he wakes up after his nap, and he's all warm and soft when I pick him up. How he loves it when I sing goofy, made-up songs during bath time. How he hoots and giggles when "the claw" tickles his little belly.

I want to be fully present in the "now" that I have with him. Because it's all going by so fast already, and I know that one day, he'll come up to me and ask for my car keys. Or he'll give me a quick hug and a kiss and then move across the country to some great job opportunity.

Ooof. What will Mama do THEN?!

Comments

Supermom said…
truer words were never spoken. My heart breaks each time I see my little guy has grown up a little bit more. =(